The party set off a distinct train of thought. For one thing it had confirmed that I genuinely preferred sex with women, which together with my dark instinct for sexual perversion gradually gave birth to an idea that then festered in my imagination for many months. There were logical reasons to support my budding scheme, more than just sex. It would connect me with Sarah, in spirit if not in fact, it might conceivably establish a line of communication against the time when she freed herself from her parents. Almost exactly a year after my affair with Sarah had been abruptly severed, I made up my mind at last.I would track down Margaret, the older woman, the cold-voiced dominatrix about whom my cousin had often spoken with marked ambivalence, who seemed to have resented her gentler affair Edie, but taught her how to stimulate me like no-one else ever had. Sarah had told me many things about Margaret that reached into my present pain. Margaret, with her floggers and ropes, her cuffs. He had saved some extra money for Hamburg so that he could buy nice newthings there. So far, he had only ever used his mother and sister'swardrobe and shoe cabinet. And on the one hand the shoes and clotheswere a bit too small for him and on the other hand he would have justwanted some things a little more sexy.But now everything should change. His budget was ? 300 and he wasstanding in the shower to shave his whole body thoroughly.It was a wonderful feeling to finally be free.When he rubbed himself dry with the soft towel a gentle shiver ranthrough him, so wonderful was the feeling of a freshly shaved body. Hethought of what it would be like to put nice, fine stockings over hislegs and then walk around the apartment on high heels, that must beheaven.His excitement was now greater than all the shyness he had and hequickly got dressed and headed for the Reeperbahn, because this waswhere those shops are, that could make his dreams come true.However, when he got there by bike, he didn't.
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